Costco to Washington State Legislature: “Have we got a deal for you…”

From: Costco
To: Mem­bers, Wash­ing­ton State Legislature
RE: Your finan­cial troubles

Dear law­mak­ers,

As one of Washington’s largest pub­licly-trad­ed com­pa­nies, Cost­co feels an oblig­a­tion to self­less­ly assist its state in weath­er­ing the ongo­ing fis­cal storm that has had such a dev­as­tat­ing impact on cit­i­zens and con­sumers alike.

Last year the vot­ers of our state reject­ed a pro­pos­al that would have allowed our stores to bet­ter serve our cus­tomers by sell­ing liquor. Like every­one, we believe in “the will of the peo­ple” and respect their decision.

How­ev­er…

After seri­ous con­sid­er­a­tion, we’ve come up with an idea that we think would make every­one hap­py by achiev­ing sev­er­al goals simultaneously:

1. Pro­vide the state with much-need­ed revenue
2. Let Cost­co bet­ter serve our customers
3. Lis­ten to what the vot­ers real­ly said last Novem­ber: they want eas­i­er access to liquor, but don’t want every cor­ner store in the state sell­ing liquor

Here’s the deal:

You allow pri­vate liquor sales, but lim­it it to stores over 9,000 square feet. In oth­er words, guys like us who peo­ple know and trust.

In return, we’ll kick back to you some­thing like 6 or 7 per­cent of our gross liquor receipts for five years or so – after that the state won’t need all that mon­ey and can get by with a flat annu­al fee to renew our license ($166 sounds reasonable).

It’s a win/win: you get a cash infu­sion and we get to bet­ter serve the peo­ple of Wash­ing­ton state.

Let us know what you think!

Sin­cere­ly,

Cost­co

CC: Ste­fan Sharkansky