Fargo Microsofties unimpressed by Seattle area's record snowfall

While I was perusing my RSS reader this morning, I came across a post on Microsoft employee Raymond Chen's blog The Old New Thing which made for some very entertaining reading. The post provides the text of a fake emergency update from Microsoft Real Estate and Facilities in Fargo, North Dakota.

The fake alert was created to make fun of the real updates that have been going out regularly to Microsoft's Redmond employees over the last week and a half, describing what's open and what's closed at the campus.

Fargo Campus Open with No Interruptions

Due to normal cold weather and heavy snowfall the Microsoft Facilities in Fargo, including satellite areas (ABC, DEF, and GHI) will have NO SERVICES INTERUPTED due to Snow/Ice conditions in the local area.

Effective For: Thursday, December 18, 2008 through the end of April

Please exercise normal caution driving and walking on campus as you are more likely to be attacked by a bunny than slip and fall on the ice.

Campus Services

Reception: Building lobbies will be open. If your building reception is closed then they will be fired.

Shuttle: Campus shuttles will not be operating because there is no such thing as a campus shuttle in Fargo.

Mailing Services: Mailing Services will be operating under full service.

Food Service: There will full menu service available in all buildings.

Facilities Maintenance Response: A full maintenance staff is at work on campus today.

Building Services: All services such as heat, lighting and network connectivity will be operational.

Other Advisory Notes:

Security: Corporate Security advises its services will remain available to the campus. If you need assistance, stop by the office and wake them up.

Parking: Park as usual, the snow plow drivers will just plow around you. You're all capable of driving on snow/ice so plowing will be limited.

Connectivity: You shouldn't have any connectivity issues because you're expected to be at work. We only had 10" of snow and 40mph wind.

Microsoft Company Store: The Company store will not be open today because the Fargo Campus doesn't have a company store.

Area Roads: In light of the continuing snowfall and icy road conditions, most local roads are snow-covered and slippery and will remain that way until March. For information on current road conditions, please look out the window.

Weather Updates: For information on how the weather is impacting Microsoft services and accessibility, please visit YouTube.com regularly throughout the day or tune into your local news stations for updates when you are in the office as conditions on campus could quickly change but they probably won't since cold, snow, and ice is the normal conditions this time of year.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Microsoft Real Estate & Facilities

The snow and ice only seems paralyzing to those of us here in the lowlands of Western Washington because our winters tend to be wet and mild. Arctic blasts for us are a major weather event. Usually, we get the best of both worlds: A winter wonderland up in the Cascades that's just a couple hours away, and warmer, more pleasant conditions where we live.

Most of the season, we have the luxury of being able to head up to the mountains to ski, snowboard, sled, or even dig snow caves if we want - and then the freedom to return home hours later to an unfrozen neighorhood.

But in Fargo, temperatures in the teens or even below zero are just part of life.