Fragro-campaigning

Darryl comes up with a funny bit while guest-posting for The General, this time in a letter to John McCain to suggest what his official smell should be, since smells are clearly so important to Tweety Bird:

Clearly if you want to have any chance of salvaging your own campaign, you’ll need a scent-identity all your own. And I’ve been in the lab working on it. At first I thought “new car scent!” But that was too fresh…too…car-salesmanish—it tended to evoke images of Mitt Romney. Flowery scents didn’t work at all—they all came up “Rudy in drag.” No…we needed something to leverage your campaign’s general state of decay and old-school feel into a positive image.

And we found it: humus. You know that…ripe compost smell…l'eau de la matière de decomposition. Nothing transforms deterioration and rot into imagery of fresh potential and new life quite like the scent of humus.

That's just brilliant. The daddy party frame is so darn funny anyhow.

Obviously the key for male Democratic candidates is the correct mixture of pipe tobacco and cheap aftershave. I know when I get worried about how things are spinning out of control in the Middle East, I go into the bathroom and take a whiff of Aqua-Velva and it cheers me right up. Then I tell myself to put my bike in the garage and wash up, and suddenly the greatest foreign policy disaster of our lifetimes doesn't really matter. If I could get Fred Thompson to make me eat spinach, I bet the situation in Gaza would solve itself.