Newspapers hate Christmas

At last we know who is responsible for the War on Christmas. It's the fault of newspapers!

PULLMAN, Wash. -- Police have solved the case of the missing Christmas lights in Pullman.

After a theft was reported over the weekend, officers were able to follow footprints in the snow to two juveniles who had 200 bulbs in their possession.

The 12-year-old and 13-year-old are accused of taking light bulbs, strings of lights and other outdoor decorations while on their morning newspaper routes.

Not good for subscriptions, I would imagine. Kids will be kids sometimes. Kind of destructive, though. Why in my day we would have been banned from playing Pong at the Sears customer service pickup area for a month. Did I mention we only had four TV stations? And we had to change the channel by getting up and walking over to the television?

These whipersnappers today, with their phones and their blueberries and their Super Nintendos, I tell ya. Technology is the root of all evil. They should make these kids watch All in the Family.